Thor And His Mighty Bat Of Thunder: A Game Recap

For the first 6 innings of last night’s game, I thought I had dreamt the last week of baseball.  The Cardinals were back to their old form, not hitting, not scoring runs, and just generally being boring.  The original starting pitcher for the Reds was injured after throwing 7 pitches, and a new pitcher, a lefty, was brought in who, prior to last night, had an ERA of 15.63.  Nevertheless, the Cardinals’ offense was stymied by him for 6 innings, managing only 4 hits and being struck out 5 times.  No one could figure out why the offense was so ineffective, because the pitcher, David Holmberg, wasn’t throwing anything special.  The curse of the soft-tossing lefty was apparently back.

Then the Reds brought in a familiar face, Manny Parra, another lefty, but one who the Cardinals had seen many times before.  The Cardinals promptly scored two runs off Parra, and the ball got rolling.  Shelby Miller had been pitching his heart out, and had kept the Reds at bay for 7 innings.  In the top of the eighth, still having only thrown 81 pitches, Mathenaging happened and Miller was removed after giving up a lead off single to Brandon PhillipsPat Neshek finished the inning with a fly out and a double play and the Cardinals came up to bat in the ninth.

[Begin dramatic musical interlude]  Then, after a walk by Sir Jon Jay of the Ample Booty and a Prince Matt Holliday of the Bulging Forearms single off the body of Reds’ evil pitcher Pedro Villarreal, the mighty Matt Adams (aka, Thor, God of Thunder ) hit a towering, long, 3 run homer to the center field seats, a fitting tribute to the long suffering Cardinal martyr, Sir Jason of LaRue.   The Goodly Knight Sam Freeman came in and finished the Reds off in the 9th.  Once more, victory was ours. [Dramatic music fade]

The first 6 innings can only be explained by the presence of two pitching profiles that strike fear in the hearts of Cardinals fans everywhere.  The Pitcher Never Seen Before and the Soft-Tossing Lefty.  Both were present in David Holmberg.  If you add in the High ERA Cy Young Pitcher, you have a hat trick.  The perfect storm of Cardinal offense suckitude.

Thankfully the perfect storm ended in the 7th inning.

In other NL Central news, the “Better than the Cardinals” Milwaukee Brewers lost again last night to the Marlins.  That’s a dozen, cousin.  Losses, that is, in the Brewers last 13 games.  The new second place team, the Pittsburgh Pirates, unfortunately won, so the Cardinals’ lead remains at 4.5 games.  The Cardinals’ win brought the magic number down to 15.

It’s good to be talking about magic numbers again.  Until a week ago, I was doubtful that would happen.

If you want to laugh, check out this hilarious game recap at the Reds’ SB Nation site, Red Reporter.  I especially loved the picture of the mythical creature, Grichuk:

 

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Quite a looker, ain’t he?  Looks like a 4 year old girl’s doll nightmare.

I guess if you suck as badly as the Reds do, you have to have something to laugh about.  Kudos to the clever writer at Red Reporter.

The Cardinals take on the Reds again tonight behind Michael Wacha and his pitch limit.  The Reds are offering The Shoplifter, Mike Leake.  I am especially looking forward to the Reds’ reaction to the other Cardinals’ mythical creature, The Tuivailala.  If he makes an appearance, of course.

 

 

Thank you for reading.

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